I guess some of us just aren’t created to be in a relationships or for someone to be compatible with or even to be loved in a romantic way. l’m one of those people. Looking over my past failed attempts to be in a legit relationship with a guy, I’ve came to the conclusion that my personality and who I am just is too complex and out of the ordinary, no one can handle it or fully appreciate it or even commit to it. And I don’t wanna say that its OK, because it really isn’t. That means the New Years Eve kiss, the mistletoe, and Happy V-Day won’t be any memories you’ll see in my photo album. You’ll just see me and seven cats lolz just playing but My point is that when it comes to guys I like they just don’t like me as much as I do them or they end up doing wrong by me or just we don’t work out period.Question: Do I always blame myself for the failed attempts in being with a guy? Answer: Yes! You know that saying it takes two to tango, well it’s true. I’ve never did a fully blown out investigation on my love life history but I know for a fact that all of the reason for it not working out isn’t ALL of my fault. Half of it goes to the guy and the other half is all me. Welp now that I think about it a little bit, in certain situations it can be the guys fault or my fault but the point is, that it isn’t all me all the time. The guy had a hand in it too. But anyways lolz I’m now working on accepting be alone not lonely and just focusing on me. It’s hard because everyone wants companionship one day in their lives but it turns out that everyone doesn’t get what they want. And I happen to be one of those people, too bad I didn’t figure this out until my freshman year in college. If i would of known sooner probably would’ve save me some heart ache. But I learned from those cold nights that I’m just not made to be with someone. Welp, maybe my fate will change on day and Mr. Right will be on one knee with a ring in his hand asking me to be his forever. Idk? But i’m only eighteen lolz i’ve officially got nine more year until i can start shopping at the pet store for lil miss coco pants lolz. But until then i’ma keep working on becoming a better me and growing into a woman.
PS: Wrote this while listening to Childish Gambino- Urn, if reading listen to the song to get the full affect 😀